Dear Emma, 5th birthday edition

My sweet, sweet Emma----

You are 5 years old.  You admitted to me (as matter as fact as you could) that you didn't feel 5 yet.  Yes, dear, I can't believe it either.  I think this has been your biggest year so far.  So much growth.  I think back on you over the last year and realize you have taken so many strides.  You have truly grown so much.  Let's see - you switched schools, made new friends, tried new activities, and oh yeh...became a big sister!  You have handled it all like a pro.  I am so proud of you, and so proud to be your mama.

Emma, your smile makes my heart melt.  I had this moment the other day where I looked at you....you were wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and had your little swim backpack on and you looked so grown.  I literally had to hold back the tears in my eyes.  You are beautiful - from your slightly highlighted dark blonde hair to your newfound freckles just beginning to pop up on your nose. 

You love to play - anything from baby dolls, to dancing, to being outside on your playset.  You are great at pretending and I often catch you talking to yourself and playing.  It makes me laugh, but I never let you see me:) 

You are very smart.  You can write your name and Merritt's name, and even write most words out if I spell them out for you.  You are great at copying words too.  Before I could even ask you, you wrote "Thank you, Emma" on all your thank you cards from your birthday.  You even counted out how many you needed, carefully naming each friend.  So thoughtful, so smart.

You are a perfectionist.  I sometimes get annoyed by this trait, but know it will serve you well.  If you can't do it just right, you get mad.  And if I help and don't do it just right, I'm then in trouble:)  I love that you want it done your way - you know what you want and won't settle for less.

You love movies.  You always ask me - "Can we snuggle?"  You're like me - a bit of a home body.  Your current favorite movies are Cars, Up, Despicable Me, and Ice Age.  You soak them all in - reciting the lines and dancing to the songs.

I selfishly get another year with you before you go to kindergarten.  I'm holding you back, probably more so because I'm not ready:(  I can't bear the thought of you being gone all day away from me, although sometimes you get on my last nerve (love you, boo!).  I want one more year to snuggle you, mold you, make sure you're ready to take on the sometimes cruel world. 

Emma, you are my best buddy.  You don't know this, but I cried many a times when I found out you were going to be a sister because I knew it would change our one-on-one dynamic we had.  You were my sidekick - we did everything together and we loved it.  I still lament those days, and I hope you know how much I love you.  I never want you to feel like you have to share me.  I can't thank you enough for being so helpful with your sister, and so patient with me when I can't do what you need right when you need it. 

So, Em-Em, I wish you a happy 5th birthday.  I cherish every second of every day with you - from our snuggles in the morning on the couch, to our precious moments when I tuck you in and kiss your head at night.  You are loved more than you'll ever know.