First, what a blessing Facebook has been these last 2 weeks! I never thought I would say that - but for one, I love living vicariously through my facebook friends - seeing their cool status updates and pictures while I have been inside being a mom:) Second, I could never have anticipated the support I have received from my facebook and blogger friends. I haven't had a chance to personally respond to all the kinds words and messages yet, but I will...give me a few days! My last post was very heartfelt, and honest. My dad often jokes that I don't have many "unexpressed" thoughts..which is true. I usually tell it like it is, as if my face doesn't already show what I am thinking! This is sometimes a bad thing, and gets me in trouble, because I don't think first...but often it is a relationship lifesaver! I don't hold back! I am happy to report that we are doing much better - a lot of it is time...those of you who said it gets better..you weren't lying:) And a lot of it is letting go of control and relaxing. I will say that blogging helps me more than anything. It's my chance to get thoughts out and still feel productive...so thank you for reading my rambles!
Eating and Sleeping:
The feeding thing is still a challenge somedays. She is doing better, but feeding is taking over an hour, and if she wants to eat every 3 hours...well..you know where that leaves my life most of the time (on the couch with a baby, boob, and boppy). Thankfully, we are feeding her bottles at night time to save sanity. I normally pump before bed and then once during the night. We aren't doing too bad on sleep, although Emma is not liking the swaddle pod..she rolls over on her side and desparately wants her hands out. We tried no swaddling and her legs kicked all night and I just watched her squirm until she started crying. She sleeps great in either of our arms...but unfortunately the sleep is not mutual. We went out today and bought a Halo newborn sleepsack, and are eager to try it out tonight. I know that once we get her settled sleeping in the pack n play by the bed, then we are one step closer to the crib in the other room..and one step closer to getting our bedroom and some sleep back.
Last night, we had a feeding crisis...we put Emma down at 9:30, and she woke up at 11:30 - hungry as a bear. I had just fed her and had only about an ounce to give her. We had to supplement with formula, my body just could not keep up. I was devastated because I felt as though I had failed her, like I couldn't do my job. I kow it's silly to feel like that, but I couldn't help it. My one role is to feed her, and I physically couldn't do it at that moment. Brent thinks it is a blessing, and that night time will go much smoother with formula feedings, where she gets full faster and will stay satisfied longer. I know he is right, but it is still hard. On a bright note, she slept in her Halo sack in the pack n play almost the whole night (minus the times we were up feeding her), so that is a huge success!!!
We did venture out to church this morning...I know a lot of you will frown on this..and I totally understand your reasoning. I really wanted to go and have that sense of fellowship..and I just decided that we would let God control the rest. She slept the whole time, and we sat in the corner...away from people and had a blanket over her the whole time.
We are officially out of newbron diapers, and into number ones! They are still a bit saggy, but the newborns were too small. This makes me happy because I know she is gaining weight:)
Emma loves to lay on her back and stretch...which is great because she spends a lot of time in our arms, her swing, or the carseat...so I want her to learn how to stretch out on her own. She is starting to smile in her sleep, and her face is really filling out. Her hair is still dark brown and has not started falling out yet...I still can't believe all this dark hair! She is starting to catch my eyes when I look at her, and I love that. Sometimes she just stares ay my mouth or forehead...but when she catches my eyes, I melt. I can't wait for her to fully realize that I am her mom, and for her to know that she is mine.
I still have a bit of a pooch...but I am able to wear some of my skirts from before baby. This was a huge ego booster and came on a day when I needed it.
Life at home:
Brent and I are adjusting pretty good. We had a great 3 days together. We took turns doing things or watching Emma. We went to my parents for a walk in the Bob, and have enjoyed relaxing. I keep having to remind us that we just won't accomplish as much as before...and this is hard because we are both really active and like to get things done. I don't sit still...even on vacation. I love to go, go, go. That has probably been the biggest adjustment, and will continue to be. Brent had her alone for almost 3 hours on Friday so I could get out and run to the mall and Target. It was GLORIOUS! I was anxious, yes. But it was like "yes, a little me time...finally" The last few weeks of my pregnancy felt awful because I could barely go anywhere without feeling exhausted or have pain in my feet or abdomen (prob Braxton Hicks looking back now), so I felt like I had not been able to just get out in quite awhile. Brent admitted later that night that those 3 hours were great, but he felt so lazy...and I know he got a glimpse of the last 2 weeks had been like for me. Yet, I still can't say enough good things about this man...he helps with everything..and does it gladly. He knows the stress I am under and knows what I like to have accomplished before I can go to bed. I will miss him terribly this week while he is at work.
Goals for the week:
Feel free to laugh at these..but if you are a mother, or when you become one..you will know that they are not silly anymore:)
-take a shower without anyone else here watching Emma
-get Emma to nap in her crib at least once a day...not the swing, not the car seat, not my arms...but her own crib (Halo Sleepsack..this is where you come in!)
-go on a solo walk (I think this will be easy...Tuesday is going to be a great outside day)
-go on a solo car ride...do I dare????? We did buy a mirror so I can see her while driving..I promise not to run off the road!
What do you think...too ambitious??? Should I throw some more in, or aim low!?!?
|Hate this face......|
|Love this face.....|
|Couldn't survive without these faces (the 3 B's - Brent, Baby, Bob!)|