Whoa....

...I am SOOOOO behind!!  I have so much to catch up on here, so I'll do my best.  Ironically, only my mom has reached out to see if I had any new posts because she hadn't seen any lately:)

I think the most note-worthy piece of info for sharing would be our monumental victories with Merritt's sleep!!!!!!  About 2 weeks ago, I finally realized that we would have to let her learn how to sleep on her own/cry it out/etc....  She had 4 nights of getting up EVERY 2-3 hours, sometimes more, and I was DONE.  I finally decided we had to implement the sleep plan we paid sp much money for:) If you remember, I paid for the plan, then immediately she started sleeping better, so I never even used it.  But she progressively got worse and worse and we both hit our breaking point:)  The first night, I put her down awake after nursing her and she cried for 45 minutes then SLEPT ALL NIGHT!  The second night, she cried for 25 minutes, and SLEPT ALL NIGHT.  The third night, she cried for 20 minutes, and SLEPT ALL NIGHT.  Do you see the pattern here?  I was astonished and kept waiting for the crisis to hit - could it have been this easy?  Why did it take us 11 months to do this?  Am I the biggest idiot ever?  Should I be allowed to even raise kids??  We are 2 weeks in, and she has only gotten up in the middle of the night twice - after 2pm, and I nursed her very briefly then put her in her crib awake, where she then had to cry herself to sleep (which only took about 15 minutes).  I am like a new person - I have an evening!  I'm not super anxious all night, fearful of letting my guard down and falling asleep.  It has been so great.  I feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is finally here.  The first year is HARD....especially when they aren't sleeping and you're nursing (because your diva baby won't take a bottle).  I almost got sad....it was bittersweet.  I now see some freedom in my future - I could go out to dinner, stay out past 7pm, even maybe go away for a night!!!!

We have also made some strides with naps.  Merritt consistently would fall asleep to or from preschool, and not transfer well. So I would just drive around or leave her in the car in the driveway.  While that was ok, it wasn't the best.  We have been working now on letting her nap in her crib.  We've done well...although nap jail is real.  She does good for the morning nap....but normally doesn't do the afternoon (shorter one) here.  Which is fine, because we have places to go, yo!

I can't even describe how grateful I am for this new stage and strides we have made.  I know I sound super lame because I was enabling my baby for 10 months, but whatever....I do the best I can.  I have my evenings back, I'm not anxious all the time, and I feel so rested and less stressed...which is helping parent Emma better:)  I almost don't know what to do during nap time because I'm not used to having free time!!  So, cheers to being able to enjoy fall, and getting a little bit of ME back!!!!