I am coming to the realization that Emma and I have only 2 more summers before she is off to Kindergarten. I am terrified....for her and for me. I literally want to keep her home with me forever. But I know that would be unhealthy for us both - partly because I do need some time away every now and then. And also...I would be the worst home school teacher. There would be a hilarious movie about it, truth be told. While I am a "teacher" by day...I would probably let Emma watch TV or the iPad, or just do whatever most of the day because I am not that disciplined.
Anywho, I worry about Emma adjusting. She's always been in daycare (sniff, sniff mom guilt), but she is shy and reserved. She prefers one friend over a whole group and can get clingy. I think she gets that from me, for sure:) It takes her awhile to warm up, and she's not the child that goes up to strangers and makes friends all the time. None of these traits bother me, and I love who she is and how protective she is of her feelings and her friendships. She makes you earn it, and she doesn't just give it out easily.
I worry about all this because I am taking her out of daycare again for the summer. So, she'll go from 3 days a week to 0 days a week. Then, in August, she is going back 3 days a week. And then...just to make sure she hasn't adjusted too much to all this change, I am pulling her out of daycare and putting into a wonderful, terrific preschool that I know she will love. But it's everyday until 12. New place, new teachers, new friends, new time, new everything. I know she will adjust and need little to no therapy in her adult years because of it:)
I've been agonizing about this for a few months. And then, 2 things happened that completely changed my heart and put me at ease.
They were little things, but there were so reassuring.
First, Emma had a birthday party at Pump It Up over the weekend. She knew the kids there, but I was worried she would cling to me the whole time and not play with the other kids. Past experience says this will happen.
But Emma completely surprised me. She basically ran away from me every time I tried to hang out with her.
She had the best time. She didn't need me by her side at all, and she seemed SOOO grown up. I was that mom that stayed in the corner, watched from the sidelines, and hardly intervened. Every now and then, Emma would look back at me and flash a smile and a wave, just to say
"hey mom, I'm glad you're here, but I'm ok!"
And then yesterday, I took her to yoga at Kidzu. I had heard about it through a friend who went and thought we would try it since it was rainy out.
Emma walked right in, took her boots off, and sat down right in front of the teacher and next to the other kids. She didn't hesitate, she didn't look back.
She jumped right in, she laughed, she was a great listener.
I sat back, took a million pictures, and beamed with pride.
Emma was growing up, she was becoming her own little person. Sure, she's still shy, and she'll probably never be a social butterfly. But, she's becoming such a smart, funny, and caring little girl. She's not a toddler, and definitely not a baby!
I know the changes coming in her daily schedules will be good for her, and she will undoubtedly adjust just fine.
And I know, for sure, that I will cherish every single moment with her the next 2 months.
Every tantrum, every eye roll, every ignoring of me, and every whine. For with these times, I also get every snuggle, every smile, every kind word, and every hand hold.
So bring on the summer, and all the memories I get to make with my Emma bear:)
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