Friday, August 26, 2016

Life lately...

I am way behind on blogging...but honestly, I feel like my blog posts would look like this...

I just feel like I'm drowning these days.  Between working 3 full days a week, and being gone every weekend, I am struggling - physically, emotionally, and mentally.  I don't do chaos well...I like to have my house in order and a plan for the week ahead.  I do better than most when I have to let it go, but it really got me this week.  So, if you're reading this, and you think of it later...say a small prayer for some peace and productivity this weekend.  It's our first weekend at home in 4 weeks, so I have a list a mile long....but I am also looking forward to DOING NOTHING tonight.  

Last week I had to drive to New Bern for traffic court...and man, it was an experience.  First, let me say how humbled I was to be there.  There were some people who go to court dates and know other people there because they're there so much.  And people there with so many charges and jail time ahead that it made me sweat.  Thankfully, I showed the clerk my up to date registration and she dismissed my case.  But not before I waited in the courtroom for over an hour for the judge to even show up, and then another hour while they went through people requesting continuance for their cases.  And let me end by saying I was in the actual courtroom...not waiting outside.  I was literally 20 feet from the judge and was paranoid about getting up in front of everyone and having him lecture me on driving a vehicle with expired registration:)  (Because that's such a heinous crime....insert major eye roll)

I celebrated by hitting up the New Bern accident really because I was in search of gas.  And then a trip to Bojangle's for a sausage biscuit.

I picked up this devotional that I had seen on Pinterest....not sure yet if it will be good, but I'll give it a try.  I bought it on the cheap from the Raleigh Micit group.

Emma and I have lunch together every other week after the gym.  I love these times together.

She was particularly silly this day and had some funny faces for her smile. She insisted the bag and her leftovers be in the case you're wondering.

Last weekend, I went to the lake for a tournament.  I didn't ski, but we had a blast anyway.  Kelsie and I always send each other selfies when we are judging slalom on the towers. 

Then her sweet mom, Val, came to keep me company.  I love this woman and her wisdom.

We stayed at this historic farmhouse in Gates.  It;s absolutely beautiful and quiet, and I may move there.

We came back early Sunday for a birthday party at Bull City Gymnastics.  Emma's new friend, Jane, invited her - they will be classmates this fall at Westminster.  I was so excited, and so was Emma.  I am really looking forward to Emma and I both forming some friendships this fall with her class.

Nofo at the Pig called and told me they needed more jewelry (they had sold everything!), so I have been busy trying to create and make.  I am way behind on my jewelry lately.  I have made a ton, but haven't updated my etsy shop or promoted it much.  It's been frustrating because once I make something, it seems like everyone else is doing the same exact thing.  I am constantly trying to think of ways to be unique now and find my creativity in making something that others can't get elsewhere.  I know at first, I loved to re-create what others had done, because I liked making it instead of paying a fortune for it.  But now, I really want to focus on being my own best version:)  I also know this will be my only livelihood and creative outlook soon:)  
I love these new vintage glass bead and wood bracelets. I promise to spend some time on it and update on here next week.

With all the stress I put myself under, I feel like I have been the WORST mom ever.  Emma has been whiny the last few days, and I have NO patience.  So I yelled and got mad, and really needed a timeout myself.  I went to bed for 2 nights in a row crying, feeling like a failure and overwhelmed with grief and worry that my behavior had hurt Emma psychologically (cue preggo crazy hormones).  I read this this morning, and realized I had been trying too hard...and it's not humanly possible to be everything.

And yes...I know it's not May 12...I worked in this book sporadically last year and am going through missed days this year.  Perhaps God knew last year that I would need this today:)

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