Monday, April 9, 2012

Happy Easter...and pass the tissues please!!

30 weeks...Easter Sunday - could not have asked for a better day!

30 weeks and counting....I cannot believe I only have 10 more weeks to go.  As each week passes, I get more and more paranoid and anxious.  I have several friends lately who have had their babies 5-6 weeks early, and I am starting to feel the panic.  Hormones are in full effect again.....sorry Brent and everyone else around me.  The good thing (or bad thing...depending on how you look at it) is that these hormones are not fits of rage, but rather uncontrollable crying.  I seem to be EXTRA sensitive lately...some for good reason, others not so warranted...let's breakdown the most recent tear-fests...I think I have had a pretty rough emotional week..

1. saw a girl come into the waiting room at the OB clinic and start sobbing to her mother after her was all I could do to hold it together.  I pray she feels some sort of comfort over her pain now.

2. saw a post on facebook (friend of a friend) who had her baby at 24 weeks who did not survive...I. Cant. even. imagine.  My heart breaks in a million pieces and I am praying so hard for this family that I don't even know.

3. talked to a friend who recently had to put his dog down over the weekend.  I was on the phone on the way to work sobbing uncontrollably on I-40.

4. my precious kitty, Sunflower, has been acting out of the norm, so I took her to the vet.  I was already a nervous wreck worried about her, because she is my baby...and we still have not gotten over the loss of Daisy boo.  To my dismay, the only room that was open was the same room we put Daisy to sleep in 10 months ago.  Really?  There went my sanity....crying fest continued. Please pray for Sunny - I know she is only a cat..and some of you may think that's silly.  But she is MY cat, and I love her.  She seriously is one of the coolest cats EVER - almost like a dog.  She follows me everywhere, comes when called, and loves to snuggle with me.  I can't imagine losing her.

5. my dear friends and neighbors found out a few weeks ago that their dog, Kayak, has a terminal cancer. They also had to say goodbye to their rottweiler last year, and my heart goes out to them right now.

6. My friend, Meredith, celebrated her father's birthday last week...he's been gone since November, but I know the pain will always be there for them.  I can't even begin to comprehend what the last few months have been like for her and her family. 

7. I can't watch the news anymore.  The amount of human suffering leaves me 1) overtly angry, and 2) deeply saddened. Like the shootings in Durham at JT's tire store, the high schooler on spring break who was pushed from the balcony at Myrtle Beach, the convenient store robbery that left 3 dead in Farmville last week, and I could go on and on.  I often wonder, "what is wrong with people?" I am appalled at our level of violence in this country.

8. a co-worker is undergoing tests for brain cancer right now.....I am praying hard for her during this uncertain time.  There aren't words to express how scary this is for her.

So, there you have it.  It's been a rough week for these eyes! I guess you might think I am "debbie downer" offering all this sad news.  I promise I don't go around crying everywhere!  I am just so painfully aware of life and death. That is only fitting for this past weekend, and all that Christ's death means for us.  I know the Cross represents victory over death, but that is sooo hard to grasp while you are still on earth.  Having a child makes you incredibly vulnerable..and I am feeling it big time these days.  So, if you see me a bit glossy eyed...its ok...I will be fine!  In the meantime, I'm just hanging on tightly to the blessings around me....poor Brent...I'm sure he is over me calling him at work every 5 minutes with the latest sob.

Another, I am not keeping myself from having an "accident," just trying to successfully document the bump!


  1. Thinking of you and praying along with you for all of the above! Your friends are beyond blessed to have you as their prayer warrior!

  2. It's OK to cry! And honestly, I - to this day can't watch the news. At all...Praying for you and Brent to survive these next few AMAZING weeks. Enjoy it all, soak it all in, she will be here soon and your world will be even more wonderful. Can't wait to meet her!