Outing turned into 3 ring circus.....

So I was feeling super adventurous today...we have had great days and nights lately and I thought to myself.."let's keep this going...we will be champs at errands and sleep in no time!" Well, Miss Emma decided to show me otherwise...here is our day.and feel free to laugh out loud and feel sorry for me at the same time.

We were going to eat breakfast with my dad at work - free food:) But I didn't realize we HAD to be there at 8:30..I thought it was rolling..so needless to say...at 8:10 we were not even close to leaving. Emma slept from 10:30-3:30 last night, and then from 4:30-7..pretty good..although I was hoping to shower and eat before she got up. I guess I will need to get up at 6:30 for that to happen..pretty hard if you just fell asleep an hour and a half ago...Anyway...I nursed her for 10 minutes..where she then fell asleep..great. Brent had not left yet, so I quickly handed her off to him so I could shower. I then realized I also had to pump..so I would have something for her while we were out..which takes an eternity it seems. We finally got out of the house at 8:45 (guess getting somewhere at 8:30 was not realistic!) I wanted to try getting out, so we headed to Target..I always NEED something from Target..where I ran into a great blog friend (hi Carrie!). I have ran into friends every time I have been out and I love it - it makes the trip so much better! The Target trip went great - I even toted her into the fitting room to try on some workout wear (yes...I need to workout!) We checked out and the girl was still sleeing..so I thought.."yes, we will continue to push our luck and go to the mall!" It was only 9:35..and the mall did not open until 10..so we drove around the parking lot for 20 minutes (I had to waste gas in the truck somehow since I don't drive anywhere hardly ever!) We went in a few stores in the mall...honestly, it was just great to walk around in air conditioning. She started to stir and wake up, so I quickly made my way back to Nordstroms where we had parked. Enroute, I ran into a good family friend (seeing a trend here - who needs visitors over to your house..just head out!), where I probably stayed 10 minutes too long to chat (although I loved seeing then!!!!). By the time we got to the car, Emma was crying pretty good....so I raced to get her in, load up the BOB (thank god for trucks and tailgates) and get my butt home.

Of course, I hit every light...and there was a wreck right by the mall that had just happened..so I had to pull over for the emergency vehicles and all. By this time, Emma was full on screaming - choking and gagging herself because she was crying so hard. It was awful...I hated to hear it and I felt like such a selfish mom. I almost pulled over on Woodcroft Parkway to feed her even though we were less than a mile from home. And of course, I got behind every slow driver in the world. I was yelling and waving at them to get out of my way..they must have thought I was crazy!!

When I pulled into the driveway, I left everything in the car but the milk and Emma..and raced inside to give her the bottle I had. 3 minutes into her eating, I hear 3 massive poops...farts...whatever you want to call them. Emma is not skeered..and loves for the whole city of Durham to hear her poop (that's my girl!) I then felt warm and wet all at the same time...yes..she pooped so hard it leaked and got on me! Successful morning so far! I wasn't sure whether to change her or just let it be since she was so hungry. I let her eat for a few minutes and then changed her. I change her downstairs on a mat sometimes to eliminate trips up and down the stairs..and somehow Sunflower (my cat) managed to get all mixed up in the poop affair during this one changing. She had it all over her paw and foot..which I only noticed all over the kitchen floor an hour later.

So.....that was my morning! It took me 2 hours to get Emma settled after that - she was so hungry she ate too fast..which then resulted in spit up..which then meant more eating! She is sound asleep and snoring in her swing right now...totally oblivious to the chaos and stress of the morning..and thank god..I would never want her to remember that! Happy Thursday everyone!!

One month update

Today we had our one month doctor appointment, even though Emma is technically over 5 weeks old. Here are her stats:

weight - 9 lbs. 8 oz. - 75th percentile!
length - 21 - 50th perccentile (not surprising..neither Brent or I are particularly tall!)

We got our second hepatitis B shot today, and Emma only cried when the needle stuck her (I would too) and luckily I was able to console her before we left the room. Our pediatrician is great and puts up with all my crazy questions (which I write down beforehand and take notes during our appt as if there is going to be a test later..) She said that Emma looks perfect, and I couldn't agree more! We are still having some spit up/reflux issues on some days - any thoughts you mommas out there? Is my diet really that closely related to her behavior?

We are still sleeping good - getting up 2-3 times a night. I can't complain too much...this morning she awoke at 5:45, but went down at 6:15 then slept until 9am. I slept in (7:30) and then was able to shower, eat cereal, and drink coffee...what a treat!

Our nightly ritual has been walking together - mainly to the grocery store for odds and ends, and sometimes to Menchies for froyo:) She does great - even if she isnt sleeping, she just sits and watches..hardly fusses at all.

Monday we ventured on our first real solo trip together - to the mall. I was beyond nervous...what if she started screaming uncontrollably? What if I couldn't figure out the handicapped doors with a stroller?! Fortunately, I went to JCrew first to visit my old co-workers - who loved seeing her, and a friend from church happened to be in there! She offered to watch her while I tried stuff on (not fun for 5 weeks post pardum..) and we had coffee together at the e-bar. It was great - I felt like I was beginning to be a whole person again...getting out, going places....we are thinking of taking our show on the road again this Friday for Fridays on the Front Porch since the weather is going to be so nice!

Lately, Emma has been spoiled rotten - her favorite place to nap is on my chest and I absolutely love it. I love her sweet milk breath and her precious little lips. I am actually typing this post with one hand while I snuggle her with the other:)

No full smiles yet, but the pediatrician said that Emma seems to be more observant and that those types smile closer to 6 weeks...meanwhile poor Emma has to put up with me in her face all the time smiling, trying to get her to smile back!!

We're still alive!!

Whoa - I've been missing from the blog world for way too long!! Things have actually been going pretty good.  We still have some bad days, but we have made large strides.  Currently, as I type this at 7:45am, Emma is still asleep.  She has been going down around 8:30-9:30, then sleeping until about midnight, then up again around 5, and sleeping until 8am.  And I am happy to report that she is sleeping in her crib - and I am NOT glued to the monitor all night!  In fact, when we first tried it last week, I gave Brent the monitor and "checked out" for most of the night. I hardly heard her wake up - Brent was doing all the work! Now, I am doing better and we have learned to put the sound on the lowest setting.  Emma stirs a lot - going in and out of her REM sleep - grunting and snorting.  I was waking up panicking that she couldn't breathe or was in distress until I realized it was all normal. 
Emma loves tummy time!  She loves to try and push herself over her small pillow on the activty mat, and she loves to lay on my chest and look around.  She most assuredly falls asleep in the carseat - whether just sitting in it in the bathroom while I shower, or in the car, or on a stroll.  I am liking this fact:) She was really into the swing for awhile and napped good there, but I am trying to get her to nap in her crib only (or carseat if we are mobile).

We are one month old! 

NURSING - is getting better.  She is a tad bit more efficient on the breast, but not enough where I am willing to be up for hours with her overnight.  We still use a bottle during the night, which unfortunately means I am still up pumping...but that is far less time consuming!  I nurse her as much as I can during the day, but try and space out her feedings.  At night and early morning, she is every 3 hours.  Then she becomes some alien in the afternoon and wants to snack...a little here...a little there... I need to do better at enoucraging full meals or nothing at all.  She spits up sometimes and we really have to be sure to keep her upright any time she eats, and then for 30 minutes after.  She may also be a drooler...bibs anyone?

WEIGHT - at our 3 week appt on July 3, Emma was 8 lbs. 4.5 oz!  It was a huge relief because I was unsure whether she was gaining enough weight.  Surely, she was, since she was only 6 lbs. 8 oz. 3 weeks prior.  The pediatrician was really encouraged and surprised - she did not think Emma would have gained that much.  Do we have a chunkster on our hands???

OUTINGS - On her one month birthday, Brent and I took her to lunch at Brixx...well...we took ourselves, and Emma slept the whole time.  It was our first real outing with her, and it was a success!  I then ventured to Raleigh by myself (how's that for courage!) to eat lunch with Brent.  Of course, everyone at the pharmacy oggled all over her, as well as everyone at Hayes Barton Cafe..she even had her own piece of cake!  She slept the whole time - except for the way home. She started screaming as soon as we reached the RBC center on Wade Ave.  I got off 40 onto the Cary exit to feed her. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, she stopped and fell asleep!  I decided to chance it and continue home - and we made it!  I know she will have to cry, but I also knew she was probably famished at that point!

Emma was generous and shared her slice of cake with us:)

Other things that weigh on me all day long:
-my thank you cards....I am way behind!  I had intentions of ordering cards with her newborn pics on them, but have not picked them out yet...so thus, not cards done.  I promise to everyone that it is not an indication of my appreciation.  We feel very blessed by all the care and gifts we have received in the last months.
-the slow return to normalcy - things like cooking meals (even eating meals), going places, etc..  I wonder if I will ever do these things again:) I have never missed going to work so much! (although Emma sure beats working...in all seriousness!)
-when will Emma be big enough to fit into all her cute outfits?!?!  She has a ton of 3 month clothes but can't wear them yet!  I also CAN'T wait to take her out more.

Emma loves to rock some crazy hair!

again...bad hair day!

I bought this little toy doll at Baby Boutique in Chapel Hill and it goes with Emma in her car seat.  She probably isn't aware of it, but I like to think she is holding onto it:)

Tummy time fail.  She normally does not fall asleep and loves to push around on the floor.

She is starting to have more personality everyday...

BIG thank you...and start of week 3

First, what a blessing Facebook has been these last 2 weeks!  I never thought I would say that - but for one, I love living vicariously through my facebook friends - seeing their cool status updates and pictures while I have been inside being a mom:)  Second, I could never have anticipated the support I have received from my facebook and blogger friends.  I haven't had a chance to personally respond to all the kinds words and messages yet, but I will...give me a few days!  My last post was very heartfelt, and honest.  My dad often jokes that I don't have many "unexpressed" thoughts..which is true.  I usually tell it like it is, as if my face doesn't already show what I am thinking!  This is sometimes a bad thing, and gets me in trouble, because I don't think first...but often it is a relationship lifesaver! I don't hold back! I am happy to report that we are doing much better - a lot of it is time...those of you who said it gets better..you weren't lying:) And a lot of it is letting go of control and relaxing.  I will say that blogging helps me more than anything.  It's my chance to get thoughts out and still feel productive...so thank you for reading my rambles! 

Eating and Sleeping:
The feeding thing is still a challenge somedays.  She is doing better, but feeding is taking over an hour, and if she wants to eat every 3 hours...well..you know where that leaves my life most of the time (on the couch with a baby, boob, and boppy).  Thankfully, we are feeding her bottles at night time to save sanity.  I normally pump before bed and then once during the night.  We aren't doing too bad on sleep, although Emma is not liking the swaddle pod..she rolls over on her side and desparately wants her hands out.  We tried no swaddling and her legs kicked all night and I just watched her squirm until she started crying.  She sleeps great in either of our arms...but unfortunately the sleep is not mutual.  We went out today and bought a Halo newborn sleepsack, and are eager to try it out tonight.  I know that once we get her settled sleeping in the pack n play by the bed, then we are one step closer to the crib in the other room..and one step closer to getting our bedroom and some sleep back.
Last night, we had a feeding crisis...we put Emma down at 9:30, and she woke up at 11:30 - hungry as a bear.  I had just fed her and had only about an ounce to give her.  We had to supplement with formula, my body just could not keep up.  I was devastated because I felt as though I had failed her, like I couldn't do my job.  I kow it's silly to feel like that, but I couldn't help it.  My one role is to feed her, and I physically couldn't do it at that moment.  Brent thinks it is a blessing, and that night time will go much smoother with formula feedings, where she gets full faster and will stay satisfied longer.  I know he is right, but it is still hard.  On a bright note, she slept in her Halo sack in the pack n play almost the whole night (minus the times we were up feeding her), so that is a huge success!!!

Getting out:
We did venture out to church this morning...I know a lot of you will frown on this..and I totally understand your reasoning.  I really wanted to go and have that sense of fellowship..and I just decided that we would let God control the rest.  She slept the whole time, and we sat in the corner...away from people and had a blanket over her the whole time. 

Growing:
We are officially out of newbron diapers, and into number ones!  They are still a bit saggy, but the newborns were too small.  This makes me happy because I know she is gaining weight:)

Emma:
Emma loves to lay on her back and stretch...which is great because she spends a lot of time in our arms, her swing, or the carseat...so I want her to learn how to stretch out on her own.  She is starting to smile in her sleep, and her face is really filling out.  Her hair is still dark brown and has not started falling out yet...I still can't believe all this dark hair!  She is starting to catch my eyes when I look at her, and I love that.  Sometimes she just stares ay my mouth or forehead...but when she catches my eyes, I melt.  I can't wait for her to fully realize that I am her mom, and for her to know that she is mine.

Pre-pregnany clothes:
I still have a bit of a pooch...but I am able to wear some of my skirts from before baby.  This was a huge ego booster and came on a day when I needed it. 

Life at home:
Brent and I are adjusting pretty good. We had a great 3 days together.  We took turns doing things or watching Emma.  We went to my parents for a walk in the Bob, and have enjoyed relaxing.  I keep having to remind us that we just won't accomplish as much as before...and this is hard because we are both really active and like to get things done.  I don't sit still...even on vacation.  I love to go, go, go.  That has probably been the biggest adjustment, and will continue to be. Brent had her alone for almost 3 hours on Friday so I could get out and run to the mall and Target.  It was GLORIOUS!  I was anxious, yes.  But it was like "yes, a little me time...finally"  The last few weeks of my pregnancy felt awful because I could barely go anywhere without feeling exhausted or have pain in my feet or abdomen (prob Braxton Hicks looking back now), so I felt like I had not been able to just get out in quite awhile.  Brent admitted later that night that those 3 hours were great, but he felt so lazy...and I know he got a glimpse of the last 2 weeks had been like for me.  Yet, I still can't say enough good things about this man...he helps with everything..and does it gladly.  He knows the stress I am under and knows what I like to have accomplished before I can go to bed.  I will miss him terribly this week while he is at work. 

Goals for the week:
Feel free to laugh at these..but if you are a mother, or when you become one..you will know that they are not silly anymore:)
-take a shower without anyone else here watching Emma
-get Emma to nap in her crib at least once a day...not the swing, not the car seat, not my arms...but her own crib (Halo Sleepsack..this is where you come in!)
-go on a solo walk (I think this will be easy...Tuesday is going to be a great outside day)
-go on a solo car ride...do I dare?????  We did buy a mirror so I can see her while driving..I promise not to run off the road!

What do you think...too ambitious???  Should I throw some more in, or aim low!?!?


Hate this face......




Love this face.....



Couldn't survive without these faces (the 3 B's - Brent, Baby, Bob!)

Week 2..and your chance for solicited advice!

We are in survival mode here in week 2.  I am loving eary minute of Emma, and feel blessed to be her mother.  But there are definately challenging moments.  Brent went back to work on Monday, so that's an added stressor.  My mom and dad have been over, and some good friends as well.  Thankfully, Brent is off Friday, so we have a 3 day weekend to try and recoop and get into a routine.  We are still trying to figure out what life is like with a newborn, and how to be parents:)

 

FEEDING and SLEEPING:

We normally wake up around 6:30am and Brent starts to get ready for work.  Emma is either in my arms or his, as we fell asleep like that from the night.  I know this is bad, and I hate that she is getting in this habit, so hopefully we can break it this weekend.  The only place she has slept so far is the carseat, our arms, and once in the afternoon in the crib, in her swaddlepod.  I am nervous about her sleeping on her back - which is ridiculous since that is the safest place for them, I know.  I don't know whether she needs to be swaddled all the time if she sleeps on her back or not.  I feel better with her reclined. She normally wakes to feed by 8am, right about the time Brent needs to leave for work - so it's crisis mode for me to get up and get everything set up downstairs.  I need to get used to just letting her be - I don't need to be watching her all the time or holding her.  She will cry, and that has to be alright.  Right now, her feedings are way too close together.  I have searched and tried, and the best I can conclude is that she is not getting enough when she feeds from the breast.  Sorry if this is too much info...  I had troubles with her latching on last week so we started pumping just in case and feeding her from a bottle.  If we feed her from the bottle, she drinks 2-4 ounces in one sitting and can go 3+ hours without needing to be fed.  On the boob, she just eats for a about 10-15 minutes (maybe) and falls asleep.  No matter what I try, she doesn't want to eat more.  Those feedings were taking over an hour and then she was wanting to eat every hour because she was not satisfied.  It was hell.  Everytime I try to call the pediatrician, they tell me to go to a lactation consultant, but I did that, several times in the hospital, and once last week.  I honestly think I just need to let it go, and start bottle feeding.  I will still pump, but may need to add formula to supplement.  Any advice from moms out there would be great.  I am not giving up, but just need some sanity and need Emma to eat more.  She is supposed to get 20-24 ounces in a 24 hour period, and since I think she is only getting an ounce or less at the boob, she is not keeping up. 

WALKS:
We have been on 2 walks so far.  I would go for more, but is is WAY too hot out there for her.  I hear the temps are supposed to be cooler next week so I anticipate more outside time:)

VISITORS:
I can't thank everyone enough for their visits, support, food, and love.  We have been blessed by each of you and hope to be able to provide the same support back:)

CABIN FEVER:
We haven't been anywhere this week. Last week, we had 2 doctor visits, a hospital visit, and went to Babies R Us for a few minutes.  I am starting to go insane.  Right about 3pm, I start to think about what my life used to be like - where I got out of the house, went places, showered...the normal.  I get pretty sad and feel pretty lonely.  Anybody that says they didn't feel this has to be lying.  I have ran to Food Lion twice while someone was here with Emma, but that's not exactly fun.  I am hoping to venture out to Target or even to Carolina Inn for an hour Friday....while Brent is here.  And maybe a family outing somewhere, anywhere...when did yall start going places with your newborn??  I am itching to get out of the house!!  I know this will pass, but it's so hard!  Plus - I want to show her off:) 

EMMA:
She is getting so strong! Her head muscles are noticeably stronger, and we may start tummy time this weekend.  She loves to be held and to be in her carseat.  She isn't a fan of baths, but now that her umbilical cord stump has fallen off, we will try again.  Her hair is so dark still, and her cheeks have to be the cutest things I have ever seen.  All I can do sometimes is just kiss them.  I am still getting used to the fact that this is MY child...the person who kicked me for 9 months and wiggled around in my belly.  She has the cutest cry when she's hungry, and the loudest..most blood curdling scream when she's starving!  We have not tried a paci yet, but are close to it.  If we stop breastfeeding, then I think it's a no brainer...again..feel free to chime in here:)  She still can't fit into things we have for her - just newborn onesies.  And I loathe onesies..they are so hard to get on and off.  I need to find some clothes that snap in the front and don't require me to go over her head and pull her whole arm through.  She is also still in newborn diapers. I think once we get this feeding thing figured out, she will grow like a weed..and I will of course miss my little sweet pea who couldn't fit into anything!

BRENT:
I can't say enough thank yous to my husband.  What a wonderful father and friend he has been.  I know it is hard to go to work all day, come home tired, and still give us his undivided attention.  He has been so hands on and we take turns at night feeding and soothing her.  He never gets frustrated with her, which is a huge help.  He helpls me keep perspective, and makes me feel at ease, even when she's screaming.  Our first Father's day was sorta a blurr, and we have decided to officially celebrate in a month..when I can get a proper gift and card together.

NURSERY:
Coming along....the alphabet wall is on hold...and we still need hardware for the changing table.  We also need to hang a shelf, find a rug, and put up pictures.  Her stuff is pretty much organized, and I can't wait until both Emma, and I, are ready for her to use the room.  I say "I" since I am still feeling like it is my job to watch her all night long...and that fades a little each day (and with sleep deprivation setting in too).  I can't wait until she can use her crib and play around in her own room.

So...if you made it all the way through this post, you are awesome!  I know it was long, but I wanted to document what I could!  And, please excuse any typos...can having an 11 day old be my grammar excuse?!?  Hope everyone has a great week!!

One week in...

Emma Stiles Talley
Born June 10, 2012
1:50pm
6 lbs 15 oz

Honestly, I have no idea where this child got her hair!  If I had not been there for the whole "experience," I would have thought they had mixed her up with someone else's child in the nursery!  She is a very good baby, and only fusses when hungry.  No one could have ever prepared me for all the emotions you experience after meeting this little nugget.  If you think pregnancy hormones are bad, just wait!  It has been tough, I will admit.  And breastfeeding (world's most natural thing) is NOT easy.  That has been one of the biggest challenges so far. We are working on it, and if we don't get it, then that's fine.  She won't love me any less or be any less healthy if I have to supplement formula. 

For those wondering, my labor was ok.  I say ok, because truly, I am forgetting some parts of it already.  My water broke Saturday morning at 4:15am.  I had no warning at all. I had not really had any other signs of coming close to delivery, so we were not really prepared.  My bags were packed, but the nursery and house were not ready at all.  Immediately, I showered and Brent did the dishes (I hate a dirty kitchen!)  When we got to UNC, I was only 1cm dialated, so they stuck me in a room where we just waited it out:)  Contractions started coming and they induced me around 2pm.  By 4:30pm, I was asking for an epidural:)  The lower back pain was awful. I could handle the contractions, but not the back pain.  I was still only 2cm, so they increased the potosin (probably mis spelled that one).  That night, Emma's heart rate started dropping rapidly after each contraction.  A flood of nurses would rush in and tell me to move one way or the other, my blood pressure was dropping, and I was put on oxygen.  Little E had a heart monitor put on her head as well. They mentioned c-section several times, and honestly, I was ready.  The stress and fear of what we were both going through was awful.  They took me off the potosin and gave me some drugs to help calm me down (aka...zonk me out).  All I remember is waking up Sunday morning, and I was 6cm!  It was the first positive step - especially given that my water had broken over 24 hours ago. They slowly started to induce me (which I was super worried about), and by noon, I was 9cm.  The pushing itself was actually really easy (thanks to my awesome epidural), and within 2 hours, Emma was here!  They used the mirror at the end of the bed, and although that sounds totally gross, it was the most helpful tool ever.  I highly recommend it.  There is nothing like a little motivation to help you through!  It did take until Monday mid-morning for my epidural to wear off, and that was really tough.  I had gone through almost a whole bag in 24 hours..so its now wonder I didnt feel anything:)  So, all in all, I was in labor for 34 hours!  And I am really proud of myself.  I could NOT have done it without Brent though...wow...what an awesome husband and father he was throughout.  I don't know what women do who have un-supportive husbands (or no husband at all). 

Here is our week in photos...I have a TON, but right now Emma is sleeping and I am running out of time!

Sunday was my one week birthday!



We went home Tuesday morning....very glad to leave the hospital, but had no idea what life would be like at home:)

Emma loves to sleep with her hand on her chin..I call this her "deep thoughts" pose.

We had our first bath!  Of course, she screamed the whole time!



We've had three outings to the doctor.  She is doing great.  I love this picture...she is holding my hand:)



Am I Crazy???

I am 39 weeks today...and really wanting to tackle this project this weekend.  What's wrong with me?  I can barely walk around...I seriously feel like I am disabled.  I am ok until about 11am...then I start waddling slowly to the bathroom, holding my belly as if that helps at all.  My hips hurt, my back hurts, and I honestly feel like I cannot move.  I almost used one of the motorized carts at the grocery store the other night...and I was serious...I had no shame.  Unfortunately, there weren't any.  All that I saw was a wheelchair...and I had no one to push me, so I carried on in misery. 

How will I ever collect all these letters, paint them, and put them on the wall..if I can't even walk to the bathroom?  Answer - I have no clue.  I must be crazy.

Carolina Pottery has an awesome selection of letters - some unfinished wood, some fabric covered, and some plain black.  And Michael's also has great unfinished letters as well - in different fonts and sizes.  I love the idea of mixing different fonts, cases, sizes, colors, and even doing a button or mirror for the "O." There is a large empty space above the chair and ottoman in the nursery, that also sits between the 2 windows.  I think this would be really cute, and would fill the space well. Maybe I can convince Brent to help me:)