Dear Emma....

My sweet little angel,
Today Daddy dropped you off at school, so we could go to work and give this dual life thing a trial run.  You slept through the night, so it made getting up and ready much easier today.  I loved the time we spent together early this morning...just you and me and the cats meowing.  Your beautiful bright eyes were so smiley and you could hardly eat because you were so content just smiling and studying my face.  It melted my heart.  I miss you terribly all day, and I work like crazy so I can leave early to come hold you.  I could barely stop for gas yesterday because I was so anxious to see you.  I know you are having a blast (most of the time) with your new friends and toys.  And I know you won't remember that I couldn't spend all day with you anymore.  But I will, and right now my heart breaks thinking about it.  I want you to know how much I love you, and how much I long to be with you.  Maybe soon that can be possible. I hope you have a great day, and Mommy loves you more than you can imagine. Many kisses to those sweet, pouty cheeks......

First day of school!!!

I am sooooo not ready to send Emma to daycare.  I cry even thinking about it.  I am working a few hours a week until I go full time to get settled back at work, so Emma is also learning how to hang with her friends at daycare.  I miss her like crazy...I have only taken her for a total of 8 hours over 2 days...but I cannot get to her fast enough when my work is done.  I have no idea how I will go all day without her.  I know you say it gets easier, but honestly, I love this girl.  I never, ever...ever thought I would want to be a stay at home mom, but I love it. I love being with her and taking care of the house.  I cherish our time and feel like I am doing the most rewarding and wonderful job.  Don't get me wrong, I love my work with my college students....but they are not MY child.  For right now, I am going to make it work...a good friend sent me a  very encouraging message yesterday and reminded me that her daughter recently thanked her for working....while they were on a family vacation to Disney.  How precious that we can look at it that way - I wish that I could stay at home with her right now, but I have made a commitment to work and although it seems scary now, I will give it a go.........Emma will thank me at some point for letting her do her own thing...and letting me continue the work I love with students.  I will not love her less...in fact..I feel like my time is so limited with her that I cherish every second.  I even am excited to get up with her in the middle of the night...because I know NO ONE else has that privilege.

So far, Emma has done great at daycare...she doesn't nap well there yet...too noisy for her comfort still.  But I am getting good reports from her teachers and she hasn't cried once when I've left her. 

First day!

Taking it all in...

Second day..

Just chillin with my new friends!

Two month update

I hate that I haven't posted...and honestly, it is only because we are so busy having a blast with Miss E.  She is such a good baby.  She rarely cries, and only when she is hungry.  She sleeps through the night, or is up only once.  She has no problem with nursing, formula, or a bottle.  And she is very chill.  Other moms and our pediatrician are always in awe because Emma just chills....she takes it all in and is so observant.  She is rarely fussy, and only at night before bed.  She is a super snuggler, and her eyes always light up when she hears my voice.  God knows that I couldn't handle a tough baby, and I'm thankful for her everyday!

At her two month appointment, she weighed 11 lbs 10 oz. and was 22 inches. That puts her in the 75th and 50th percentiles.  She had 2 shots but only cried for a minute. She ran a slight fever that night but  still slept like an angel.

Here are just a few pics from the iPhone....which now has over 1000 photos...I might have a photo problem!

snuggle time in the morning...my absolute favorite thing in the world

cannot get enough of our snuggle time!!

Emma sleeps with her hands in the air....we joke that it's her "don't shoot!" pose

sweet cheeks..

love the drool coming out of her mouth here!

Emma loves her bouncy seat and swing...

Personality

It is awesome see Emma change day to day.  One of our favorite times with her is in the morning when she wakes up.  While on the changing table, Emma is full of smiles and personality.  I hate to brag, but she is quite possibly the cutest thing ever.....

 

Nearing the end....

I titled this post as such because my time with Miss Emma is coming to a close.  I will be retuning to work full time after Labor day, and truthfully.....I am heartbroken. I know it will be good for both of us to do our "own thing," but I have loved being at home with her.  And we have really had a blast together running errands, taking care of a house, and hanging with other mommies and their kids. Life is sweet now. I am Emma's sole caretaker, and I feel so blessed to have that job.  No one else gets to be up with her during the night, or snuggle with her in the morning.  That is my job and I love it.  I love hearing her snore when she naps, watching her face turn from smile to frown as she dreams. I love watching her eyes take in all the sights when we run errands.  Will I really be able to juggle being a mom and working? Will I want to? I don't know the answers to these, but for now I am living for every minute I have with Emma.